This is a little off topic from my normal birthing stories, but since this is my me blog, and is not just about my doulaing but also my experiances as a mom along the way; i think it is still fitting.
Lately as i look at my baby and think about who i want to raise him to be and what values i want him to poses. and as i think about this baby that is growing in me i think about my parenting choices and the mom i am, the women i am, and the wife i am. and that for me has brought up a lot of challanges, questions, and prayers. there are 3 areas in particulr that have struck me the last couple weeks but today…. today my long list of trivial questions are what rest in my prayers…..
Why do people hide behind sarcasm?
Why don’t people stand behind their supposed convictions, opinions, arguments? if they voice their opinion why aren’t they ready to explain, defend, or converse about it? and when they do why are they criticized for it?
Why are people all so quick to judge others but never ourselves?
Why do we not trust you more? Why do we not believe you made us for a purpose, that you will give us the strength and tools to endure that purpose?
Why do we not believe you made our bodies, gave us health and illness? life and death? and that if we just trust in you, you mean us no pain, for we have been redeemed from our suffering and bought back at a price to you, but rather you mean us good will and love and that all moments of our life be reconciled to you?
If i could ask God my questions and he could answer me back i would ask him those things of the way we life, they way we birth, the way we parent, and the way worship. for a moment i would ask for an insight into the human thought process, into particular peoples brains, and ask for a better understanding of the nuances of this life and world God has created.
Well today that is the part of parenthood, adulthood, and life my brain is contemplating.