Its been a while since i have posted on my current God test. Mostly cause i just wasn’t sure what or how to share on it. Its been a crazy mess and i jsut don’t know how to put into words what i am going through.
I am working hard on sorting out what God would have me learn and where he is going to take me. I know he is with me through this test, and i know he is preparing me in many ways. But its all still scary and I have hit the lowest of it all. (this is the other reason i havn’t posted on it recently)
About 2 months ago is when i hit the lowest point. I was at a wall and i just didn’t know how much more i could take. It all just seemed to being get worse and nothing was changing. And that is when i hit my knees and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I prayed for God to show me what he would have me do and how much more i should pray and how much more i should work or if i should be done. a few hours after hitting my knees i got up and we headed off to church. And God answered my prayers (amazing how he does that when we stop ourselves and listen) Our pastor spoke on praying as people with hope. He spoke on how the most imporant thing we can do is to pray. He spoke specifically on a story for Luke about the widow and the judge. And about how the widow appealed the judge with hope everyday for justice. He talked not just on how prayer is important which is what that story is most commonly associated with but about how when we keep asking however long it takes eventually an answer will be given. Its been a while i should probably go back and listen to the sermon again as a reminder and you can check it yourself here (its worth it!). His sermon went on to talk about how prayer typically for us leads to a loss of hope and how when we get to that point we need to continue to pray and to ask for others to pray with us, because we don’t need to carry the burden ourselves. Oh was man was this an answer to prayer. At the end he asked us to stand if we needed someone to carry our burden/prayer with us. Then he asked that if people were sitting next to someone that they laid hands and prayed. and so i stood. and amazingly on this particular sunday sitting with us was 2 of our dearest friends and in front of us was on of my leaders from church. All of whom know our story and they laid hands and they prayed and they carried my burden if for nothing else but for that moment. And in the moment i heard God so loudly answering my prayer of the wee hours that morning saying ” Keep praying Sherrie, Keep praying” and so i keep praying and i will keep praying with the support of others who are carrying my burdens because i have faith God will answer my prayer someday.
I pray lord today I pray. You know my prayers and I pray lord!