Oh my is God and life a crazy thing. I am blown away right now about how he is answering prayers i’ve had, changing my husband and myself, growing us, bonding us, giving us vision both for the future and showing us why things past happened they way they did. This season is pretty much a non stop every day we say or do something and then he shows up somewhere saying or showing us the exact same thing constantly affirming our path. Its kind of exciting! and well let’s be honest i may need to go back and reread when the heart waits as the impatient must do something personality in me is chomping at the bit begging to run but oh would me sweet friend who gave me that book assure me that i need to relax and be patient and wait. Everything has a God picked time and place.
No more real was that for me tonight. We had our life group as we always do on wednesday nights and one of the guys in our group who is really running with the mobilize vision of our church shared about this training he went to in Portland. i didn’t know until tonight but he went to a SOMA training. I’m pretty sure God didn’t want me to know til tonight cause if i’m honest my initial reaction was a little taken back. We have experience with SOMA we actually really love the vision but at the time when it was first brought to our attention it was one aspect of a larger vision of a church that while had good points also had things that just didn’t resonate with us. and no matter how hard we prayed and no matter how hard the people we loved who were involved wanted us to be involved we just didn’t feel God calling us that way. and so as i sat tonight and heard how our church vision was headed down this path my gut reaction was a little taken back wondering what is this going to look like, are we again going to not feel called down this or did we in fact miss something 3 years ago? and then i thought of that church and the community and what it looks like right now and how my husband and i love the vision of it and where they are at now and wish we were part of it or something like it and the things that didn’t resonate before do resonate now and how a couple months ago i began to really question wether or not that was something we were meant to be a part of and if we are now suppose to go back in time so to speak and join in. and there is so much more to that conversation things that were said or prayed that just didn’t sit right that make me now question our choices even thought at the time we were so convicted. It hit me heard tonight feeling a little like crap God did i miss something?
and then I heard him….. God’s timing is a funny thing i tell you. It hit me just this afternoon as i read interupted she spends a chapter talking about New Austin church versus other churches and she essentially says how grateful she is for the typical christian church subculture. and that even though she is now doing church in a way totally different, more gospel based and less about production. how she is focused more on the going aspect of the great commision then the bringing aspect that we still need to give credit to the churches whose focus is to bring people in. That different people need to be ministered to in different ways and that if those churches didn’t exist that there would be a lot of people not being ministered to. And you know what? As i sat tonight and listened and processed i found that encouraging. It was God’s voice assuring me so sweetly no i didn’t miss something 3 years ago or 2 years ago when we prayerfully made descision. because at that time our marriage, our finances, us as an individuals were in a place where we needed to be ministered to. we needed to be part of a church community where they had the time and the resources to pour into us as God worked to rebuild our foundation. we were in no place to be out giving ourselves away. We needed to recieve christ in a way we hadn’t before and that’s what we did. He even showed me how when we first got involved with the church we did at the time i in my typical self saw a need in their mops ministry and volunteered and after the first 1/2 I ended up stepping down recognizing i was not in a place to pour into moms like i wanted but rather needed to focus on my family. But now 3 years later its different. i have grown, my family and marriage have change, we have surrendered and laid ourselves down for him in a way we hadn’t three years ago as much as we wanted to and so now is the season for us to not be part of a church that is all about its internal body but to be outward focused, to be missional in all aspects of our lives, and to do church a new and different way. Not a better way just a different way.
So tonight I’m grateful for the vision of where i was, the vision of where we are headed, and the vision to see it in the moment. I’m grateful for his little audible assurance that i didn’t miss something but rather that each has a time and place and this season is different then the last.