Not for the Faint of Heart

oh Motherhood! Oh how I love being a mother!!! well obviously i’m about to have baby #4 in less then 5 years. 🙂 That being said when anyone tells me i have my hands full i always respond with how much i love it. I usually get something to the affect of how relaxed i seem or something to that degree to which i am quick to assure (mostly new moms with only 1 kid) I am not nearly that calm that this job is a lot of work. let me repeat this Job of mothering is A LOT OF WORK!!!!! I would not take back my choice but man somedays i am so worn out i can’t help but zone out, maybe cry, forget to eat, or yes scream along with them. There is no break in mothering you are mom 24 hours a day 7 days a week and although i think its done when they move out i look at my mom and my grandma and i realize wether they are 30 or 50 my job will not be done. It will be changed but not done.

Today though, today I am reminding myself why I choose this. Why I embrace God’s calling for me to be mom. Because he did, he blessed me and choose me to love and raise 3 of his precious sons and 1 of his soon to be born daughters. They are a blessing and i am thankful for them. and i need that reminder today, today on one of my toughest days of mothering yet.

We have been pretty lucky in our life after 5 years of life with 3 boys we’ve only seen the inside of the hospital for them three times. once when harvey was 2 and cut his eyebrown open and once for ollie about a year ago when he got a cut on his eyelid and once when harv’s blood sugar went wacky (how is it that levi the kid who has not been in the hospital but is our most daring most active? ). Today however we woke up bright and early for a scheduled hospital visit for Ollie to have surgery.  You see for those that don’t know we started our journey in January to find out that Ollie is having trouble with his hearing and as a result has a significant speech delay. It was decided that tubes may be the answer and so today we did that.

we have been blessed with lot’s of prayer. We arrived, they checked him in, gave him some meds to make him loopy. oh was he loopy!!!! totally had us laughing in tears. they carried him away him sill laughing at the nurse playing with an oxygen max. and then about 20 min later they called us back to our sweet baby who now had tubes. and so began our tough tough day. from that point forward that sweet boy cried and cried and cried. he cuddled me for a minute then wanted his daddy. and cried and cried and cried. had some juice, got in the car, fell asleep in the car, woke up 40 min later and screamed harder then i’ve ever heard and didn’t stop for hours. he’d go down to a wimper maybe even stop for a few seconds but he just cried. it broke my heart. i was hungry and thirsty, and well #4 was on my bladder. i took the 30 second breaks where i could. but i’ll be honest by 1pm my nerves were shot! and then at 1:30 he crashed cold in my arms and i finaly got to lay him down!

Yeah this mothering thing is not for the faint of heart. you try seeing a piece of you cry for 5 hours, scream so hard his body shakes, and look so miserable and not find your own heart broken to a million pieces. My nerves were shot, i was hungry, i cried, but truly i tell you i was so thankful to be holding that sweet boy. Motherhood may be hard, i once heard its like seeing your heart walk around outside of you and that is true, but it is also the most rewarding the most amazing thing i have ever done!!!!!

———– For those following Ollie’s story this is how it goes with links to pics and updates (sorry you have to do a little work to see the pics cause well i don’t have the capacity to figure it out right now, forgive me) —————-

– noticeable speech delay

-tested, diagnosed with a communcation of 9 month delay

– hearing tested (only hear about 50% and loud sounds)

– decided on a treatment of tubes to drain fluid in ears restricting hearing

-started speech Therapy

-said Mama for the first time

-surgery for tubes










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